Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
