btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Send help, water and tortillas.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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