Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
