next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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