Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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