The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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