i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
