bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
