I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
