We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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