Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hippo gnu deer
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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