she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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