I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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