THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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