Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
