Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize