Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
love makes seman taste better
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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