it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize