I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
