omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
