My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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