My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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