i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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