did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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