awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
