HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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