K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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