he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
