Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
