So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
