help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
