his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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