I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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