I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
