My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
