Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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