Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
