you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
