NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
