im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
