dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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