Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I checked into jail on foursquare
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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