We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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