She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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