I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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