yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
