Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
