At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
