sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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