She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize