Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
