I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize