Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
