Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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