1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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