I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
