Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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