My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
